5 Things Jessica Simpson Needs to Stop Doing Right Now

We luv Jessica Simpson here at Jess and Ashlee, but at the same time we feel like she’s in a definite slump these days. Her career has been up and down, her love life is unstable, and she seems to have lost herself in the last few years. To that end, here are a few things we think she needs to stop doing right now in order to bring her life back to bliss.

1.) Theatrics when singing.

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The head bobs, voice changes, nostril gymnastics… all need to stop. Jess is a good singer. Very good. But now that she’s 27 and not 16, she needs to stop all the stage drama the Britneys and Christinas and Mandys did back in the day. It looks silly on her now, and even gives the impression that she’s amazed at the sound of her own voice. Besides that, she doesn’t have the chops to pull it off.

2.) Stop the public declarations of love.

I’m wondering if Jess learned anything from her stint on Newlyweds. If you put everything about your relationship out for the cameras to see, you won’t have anything private to share with your man. So Jess, we are happy that you are happily in love! For real. Now, don’t tell (or show) us anymore details until your relationship is on solid ground.

3.) Stop the public displays…. of lust.

Blue frosting has taken on new meaning thanks to your over the top tongue gymnastics at Tony Romo’s birthday party. Next time sing “Happy Birthday” with the rest of the guests, eat a piece of birthday cake with your plastic fork like everybody else and keep your tongue in your mouth until the two of you are alone.

4.) Stop trying so hard to be daddy’s little girl.

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You’re 27 now. Not 12. Not even 18. The whole promise ring thing was icky enough. But when you finally got married to Nick your dad was still the #1 guy in your life. And look where that got you?

5.) Stop dabbling.

It’s perfectly normal for a young woman to experiment with a lot of different career choices until she figures out what’s right for her. The problem with Jessica Simpson doing this is that she’s not a kid anymore and is still giving every new venture half the effort. First she was a Christian singer, then a pop diva, and when that didn’t work out she got married and portrayed the kooky Lucy Ricardo type of wife on reality TV. Then she tried to be a movie star and now she’s working on a country album. Each new venture seems sophmoric and half-baked.

Jess, get back to your roots. Realize why you came to this singing business and then hire the best writers and producers in the business. Make the full effort. Work as hard as you can and regain the props you deserve.

Images used with permission from Newscom and splashnewsonline.com.